The Beginning of Becoming (Part 3 of 3)
Deception was a family trait in Jacob’s family.
Jacob’s grandfather, Abraham, told Pharaoh (Genesis12) and Abimelech (Genesis 20) that his wife, Sarai, was his sister.
Jacob’s dad, Isaac, did the same to another Abimelech regarding his wife, Rebekah (Gen 26).
Rebekah intentionally deceived her own husband, Isaac, so that their younger son, Jacob, could receive the blessing of Isaac instead of the older brother, Esau. In the process, Jacob lied to his own dad three times (Gen 27).
Rebekah’s brother, Laban, deceived the deceiver Jacob by tricking him into marrying Laban’s older daughter (Gen 29)—as Jacob experienced the opposite of what he had done to his father Jacob, and older brother, Esau. It goes on when you consider what Jacob’s sons did to his favorite son, Joseph (Gen 37).
That’s a whole lot of lyin’! And when there’s that much deceit, inevitably, there’s a whole lot of running away from things, a whole lot of loneliness and despair. A whole lot of darkness.
It is in the (deceit-induced) darkness that we come face-to-face with ourselves.
And, not coincidentally, with God.
Rabbi Jonathan Sacks observes that encounters with God “take place, literally or metaphorically, at night. They happen when we are alone, afraid, vulnerable, close to despair. It is then that, when we least expect it, we can find our lives flooded by the radiance of the divine. Suddenly, with a certainty that is unmistakable, we know that we are not alone, that God is there and has been all along, but that we were too preoccupied by our own concerns to notice Him.”1
Jacob begins to become, and becomes, through two bookend experiences with Esau: fleeing him—and, 20+ years later—returning to him.
Both experiences occur at night, when he is alone, when he is most vulnerable.
Both include angels, and both leave Jacob clinging to God, as he becomes who God wants him to be.
Both experiences end with the dawn, and are marked by a new name, and a new beginning.
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As Jacob flees Esau’s death threat (Gen 27) to the north, scared and alone, and probably feeling pretty guilty, he stops for the night, lays his head on a stone, and falls asleep. He was not seeking God’s presence, “but God was seeking Jacob.”2
Jacob dreams of a staircase to heaven, with angels ascending and descending, and God at the top. God makes the same promise to Jacob that He had made to his father and grandfather (Gen 12:3, 18:18, 22:18 & 26:4): “All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring” (Gen 28:14).
The deceitful Jacob—not yet married, and not yet a Hebrew—will somehow become the conduit of God’s global plan to bless all peoples all over the earth.3
In the early morning light, Jacob names this place—“Bethel,” “the gate of Heaven.” He also makes a conditional vow: if the Lord protects him and he returns to his family, then the Lord will be Jacob’s God, and he will give 10% of his wealth to God.
Perhaps a brash bargain of an immature and penniless man who has not yet become. But he is beginning to become; and he knows now that he is ready to begin, because of God’s promise, the next season of his life.
Jacob spends the next twenty years in the mountain country. He finds the love of his life, Rachel, but her father, Laban, tricks Jacob into marrying Rachel’s older sister, Leah. Laban then makes Jacob work an additional seven years for Rachel. Nonetheless, the herds, the sons, and the wealth of Jacob continues to grow. Then God tells him to return home, to his family (Gen 31:3).
After fleeing Laban with all of his family and herds, to the south, Jacob finds himself northeast of Bethel, on the northern bank of the River Jabbok.
Mysteriously, Jacob meets some angels, who are encamped nearby. Meanwhile, Jacob’s scouts come back: Esau is coming with 400 men.
Jacob reminds God of His promise, but he cannot help himself and falls into the old patterns of scheming, as he did with his mother Rebecca. He divides his camp up into two parties (in case one gets wiped out by Esau), and he sends everyone ahead with many gifts for Esau. Jacob gives them specific instructions: bow down before Esau, flatter him, and ingratiate yourself to him.
Darkness comes. And Jacob is alone, near the camp of angels.
Immediately he is wrestling with a “man.” Neither is strong enough to prevail. The “man” asks to be let go at daybreak, but Jacob says no. Sensing that he is not wrestling, a “man,” Jacob asks for the “man’s” blessing.
“Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.” (Gen 32:28-29) Jacob asks the “man’s” name, who slyly refuses, before blessing Jacob.
Jacob—now Israel—again names a new place, and calls it “Peni’el:” “I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”
Soon thereafter, Jacob bows before the arriving Esau. Esau runs to him and embraces him. They weep together. And Jacob says. “For to see your face is like seeing the face of God.” (Gen 33:10).
And so, Jacob finally becomes.
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What can we learn from this story of deceit and darkness, wrestling and wisdom, living and light?
1. Becoming takes time and humility; and it never really ends.
But there is a particular threshold between seasons of learning that is more important than all the others: when you understand that your identity is rooted in God, and thus your neighbor.Jacob’s previous wrong-doing is never acknowledged by God, nor Jacob. But it must have been obvious to Jacob that where he had lied to his earthly and blind father’s face, to steal an illegal blessing, he had been honest with an all-seeing, heavenly father who provides a legitimate, and eternal, blessing. That eternal blessing is to finally understand that to love God is to love his brother. Jacob sees his brother like the face of God because Jacob has seen the face of God. It is this blessing that Jacob gives to all the nations of all the earth that are his descendants.
2. Becoming always involves wrestling.
If we are not wrestling, we are not maturing. The journey of faith is a long one. Rabbi Sacks teaches that: “Faith is not certainty: it is the courage to live with uncertainty.”4 Reflecting on Jacob’s persistent perseverance, Sacks observes: “There is a grandeur in this refusal to abandon the struggle, this sustained reluctance to accept the world as it is, conforming to the conventional wisdom, following the herd.”5 We must keep on, especially in the darkness.
3. Becoming means realizing that God has been there all along.
The text tends to be taught as Jacob not letting go of God (because that is what the scripture says). But one has to wonder: maybe it is God that is holding Jacob—until he is (finally) mature enough to ask for the blessing. “The irony is that Jacob’s physical weakness will recall the transformation of his moral strength.”6 It is in our weakness that we begin to understand that the blessing (and power) of God is available to those who seek His blessing, enabling them to stand steady and walk worthy.
4. Becoming requires that you ask for the blessing.
In his first encounter with God, Jacob makes a deal with Him afterwards. If you do this, then I will this. The only problem with this approach is that we humans don’t get to make deals with God. We only get to receive His blessing; and He wants us to ask for it. He wants us to mature into a new beginning, a new name.Put another way: we should not be afraid to argue with God. After all, He encourages it. “Come let us reason together,”God says to Isaiah (1:18). Maybe, God wants us to exercise His greatest gift to us—freedom of conscience—to freely choose Him, based on the arguing and wrestling that often must take place before we are at peace enough with ourselves, to be strong enough to ask for the blessing.
5. Becoming means that we should learn to appreciate and expect His angels.
Psalm 34:17 tells us: “The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and He delivers them.” And Psalm 91:11 says: “For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.”It seems that the angels—as a function of God’s plan—will protect us from all harm: done by others, but also by ourselves (to ourselves); just as God enabled Jacob’s becoming by preventing him from leaving until he asked for the blessing.
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The next time you are in darkness, down on yourself, doubt yourself, or doubt God, keep on. Jacob teaches us that, if God can use him (and his family), He can use anyone, especially you.
Questioning things means that you are wrestling, that God is with you—right now—and He won’t let you go until you ask for the blessing, so that you can begin to become.
And then a new name, with new purpose. God is good.
About the Author

Chris Seiple, Ph.D., is a seasoned leader with over 30 years of experience in creating and implementing strategies among diverse government and non-government stakeholders that build social cohesion through inclusion. He leads The Sagestone Group, consulting for clients such as the Templeton Religion Trust, where he helped develop and implement the “Covenantal Pluralism Initiative.”
Dr. Seiple’s extensive career includes co-chairing the U.S. Secretary of State’s “Religion and Foreign Policy” working group, chairing the research committee in support of, and advising on, the U.S. government’s first-ever summit on strategic religious engagement (at USAID), and serving as a U.S. Marine infantry officer. He has chaired the World Economic Forum’s Council on Faith, and he is a member of the Council on Foreign Relations’ Religious Advisory Committee. A prolific author, Dr. Seiple’s works include The U.S. Military/NGO Relationship in Humanitarian Interventions and he has co-edited the Routledge Handbooks on Religion & Security, as well as Religious Literacy, Pluralism & Global Engagement.
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